the stars should come out more often

if theres one thing i hate,its feeling ill without reason.
i think it was the last fag i had..but fags dont usually make me feel ill.
grr...anyway

like the perfect -looks about- student that i am,i went to a revision session our textiles teacher set up today,cuz i really need to pass the other exams with flying colours,if i want any chance of getting into uni.though tis not that hard,since i wanna take photography,and you dont need that many points for it,the main thing is the portfolio,which im dreading having to put together...i mean wtf is supposed to actually go in?just photos orr..yeah.
where was i?
oh yes...the revision session...NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE.i mean...jeebus.kira was 'ill' aka forgot...and gemma didnt come for some reason...and i was like fuuuuck what am i gonna dom,just me and her all one on one...and ghey i say,ghey!
so she just made me read some bitesize stuff,which tbh i could have done at home.so it was a bit of a waste going in,getting up early etc.specially since i was up well early watching stuff.

BATTLE ROYALE!ooooh yeah it was on last night...well...this morning.1:35 am.was worth it,plus the drinking of coffee so id stay awake.even though i was up til half 4 in the end,cuz there was more river cottage on real time [it really was river cottage day!].it was light by the time i was in bed.and even lighter by the time i fell asleep.it looks so much better then as opposed to waking up time.

and last night i lay on the decking and looked at the stars,it was lovely
even though it was freezing
so doing that again

the mixed emotion apple

haha.i made a small attempt to revise,but it didnt really work out

well annoyed though,woke up at 9 but didnt get up [dont feel much like getting up these days] so i went back to sleep,hoping to wake up in a half hour to catch jeremy kyle.but no luck,woke up half 11..
but then there was lots of spongebob on.
so i watched lotsss of that,and read in the breaks.cuz breaks are boring,but cuz of the new telewestness,flicking is an effort these days.

then i switched to riverside cottage....bank holidays rule for marathons.

on the downside.i was gonna go h and m,but by the tme i finished doin my hair it had started raining AGAIN.so fuckk yoooo i said to the outside,no me being in you today.so i stayed in and made my small attempt at history revision,i did about 8 lines of recapping,before paying attention to the tv again

my attention span is so small.
except when it comes to watching something.

tomorrow will be mixed feelings,as i have a revision session at school
this is good cuz i wont do it on my own
but BAD because last time i was at one i was bored senseless
and the teacher realizes and feels guilty haha.its funny but bad
there are 'those looks' around the room...like omg WTF
the lesson before last we had,there was this apple behind everyone i could see,but no one else could.there was a sad face on it,and it was funny,so i laughed and everone thought i was crazy.so i showed them.then kira said i bet theres a smiley face on the otherside,and lo and behold there was.that was a funny one second out of the bloody rest of them

why the hell didnt i take a picture of it?
i take pictures of everything.

my body is your body

waheyy its the half term
not that that means much,as i will be revising my arse off.
this,sort of,is my last day of freedom and excessive net use

luckily,i take an arty subject,so i only have to revise for 2 more subjects.woo.anyway.

english.total disaster,in the fact that i totally missed the exam,and got a U on the coursework.i did get there,20 mins late,but didnt think theyd let me in so i left,walked to crouch end,bought some fags and sat at thre W7 bus stop.texted warren from a payphone but he didnt have my number,so yeah.my mum called,so i figured they must have called her,but i didnt pick up the phone cuz...no.just dont.she called again,but i didnt pick up again.then a random number called,thinking it was warren i picked up but no,get my luck mate,its the fucking school.they asked why i missed the exam,said my mum was 'sick with worry' and asked me to come back to talk about what to do.i couldnt exactly say no so i went,and saw chanel on the bus.she was a bit confused as to what i was doing in wood green [by this time] and i explained to her.she thought theyd make me do the exam again,lol,decided for me they would,even.i thought they would too,making me do it in the geography exam,but they didnt in the end.i went to speak to ms buckley [i think] and she was really nice about it,saying i should concentrate on my other subjects.turns out the school thought i missed the exam on purpose because i got a bad grade in the coursework,which is silly to think because the point of an exam imo is to boost the grade.duh.but they were wrong anyway,so it didnt matter.either way im happy.and now i have wednesdays off!

and WOAHMAMA i saw allison on friday.her shirt was nice but i dont like babyshambles.except for the name.it was nice to see her again.she should come out more!

i dont know what was wrong with me yesterday,i had the worst headache ever,and made a new latest-home-from-gemmas time of 6pm.i left,and got on the bus but it was so fucking crowded i had to get off the next stop.so i started to walk,got to the station and waited for a while,then some guy started pissing right next to me,so i started to walk again.but then got hot so got on a bus 2 stops before the one i got off.to my suprise no one was home.mum was out visiting people and grandads at my uncles for the week [YES.][i do like him but i prefer the house to myself miles more].silly mum,forgot her keys so i had to wait up for her,that was ghey cuz i was really tired.and had my own bed,hurrah!was looking forward to getting in that.

FINALLY drunk that bleeding strongbow from kiras birthday...haha,that elephant was fucking amazing

i think thats it.theres something im forgetting but i cant remember it.obviously.

just a quickie

headached
confused

haha missed the english exam...im....so...sad....about that.
yes.

ill do this later
maybe tomorrow

on the upside
i now have wednesdays off
for...personal study.of course. :D

eating is weird
you dont eat for long
then you eat and you feel ill
so you dont eat for long again.
fucking vicious circle

hair and sonicstage

im not well.so im not in school.but what i am doing is researching haircuts,i am getting mine cut tomorrow.im excited.but nervous.if they mess up my hair ill cry.it sounds extra but i probably will,since im going short and thats hard to fix.AARGH.

on another note,i really need to start doing some work.yes i feel ill,but also i didnt do an english essay.at least now i have until...next week?huh is that right...wow it is...anyway.and an essay for history for friday.we did it in class last friday as a practice,and i wrote nothing,and when i say nothing i mean nothing.5 lines and a plan,so now i have to do it again for homework.gheylords.

what else is there...whillockfest! oh i cannot wait.we are gonna be so wasted [whats new?]...and its a year since i met plug and lewman and probably other abbeys that i dont rememeber...i think thompson as well?but yeah,tis gonna be bitching.and who knows,maybe ill find the disposable cam i lost last year haha.

yesterday i downloaded 74 tracks,that was bad.well good obviously but that is an awful lot.and also sonic stage,some other software for tony,cuz connect is super fucking slow,could not stand it.but theres something unsavoury about sonic stage,i dont knowwhat it is.aybe that you cant change the artist column,or even when the artist is the same,capitals and all,it doesnt merge into one.bah.i cant be arsed to uninstall it now.

bollocks day.

[excuse my laziness.im coying and posting this from my myspace blog.]

[[was a bad day today.infact..."happy bollocks day"
First,was late to english again.After getting up at a decent time and saying to myself 'Im not gonna be late'.Then when I get there shes going oooon and oooon [and fucking on] and it made me groan.Didnt help also she was in some super good mood
Discovered I have no concentration at all,and will probably fail history.Yeah,revise,I know.But it was the fucking sources paper!Its meant to be easier than the non-source paper [which i did the other day and got a D on.which Im happy with!]...just dont fucking get it.This also made me unhappy.
Then there was MORE english,with stupid people and their long winded explanations,when youre hardly fucking in,just shuttap please.No one fucking cares.Well maybe the teacher did but thats besides the point.I swear all day just dragged on way to fucking long today.Me No Likey.]]

so.bollocks day.as you can imagine is total bollocks
AND it doesnt help im not going out tonight.cuz im bored out of my skull.and i have strongbow! and i have money!this is not good for me!!!

i dont know if its more pissed of or upset.i just need to get outta this house.before my mum was sitting next to me and the sound of her breathing was driving me insane.aack.i feel like im going mad here.

shiny and new

sooooooo...3rd blog thing everever.
i can never be arsed to keep them up,so i make new ones.
i should probably stop that.anyway.

TODAY! was ok i guess.i dont care about textiles anymore.i dont care,its gone,i dont care.the only thing i care about is the exam now,which i could still scrape a grade from.which is a chance.a second chance,which i reckon i get too many of!heres how i figure it.i need to do things,everyone does,but someone has to push me,im not that motivated these days.so second chance,ok one fair enough,two or three pushing it,four or five no chance!i probably wont bother with whatever it is im supposed to do,for example my textiles work.only the paperwork mind,the dress is killer.
uhh...where was i?
yeah today.was also toms birthday.and stalking people in crouch end's day.that was sooo fun.matt thingmabob from busted and emma griffiths were in a cafe and i think he thought i was a papparazzi.then arron stalked him.
i caught the sun today,i got in and my arms were a bit red!no suprise there though,we were outside for like 2 hours.and i actually got some work done,woo go me.

so...yeah.today i was thinking about not being single anymore.cuz i dont care how much i dont deserve anyone,i dont bloody like it!why cant i just...know the person.or..like meet someone and somehow it just fits and....you know...like in the movies!!like that postal service song clark gable.brilliant song.most of their songs are brilliant to be fair.but thats all i want you know?
someone to be with...